


Richie Tozier is a useless gay

by roman (romanzsasz)



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Boys Are Dumb, Boys In Love, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, How Do I Tag, Love Confessions, M/M, Repression, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, based on the scene in chapter 2, when they're in the jade of the orient
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 04:27:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20829398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanzsasz/pseuds/roman
Summary: Richie wasn't drunk, not at all.





	Richie Tozier is a useless gay

**Author's Note:**

> based on the prompt i was given on twitter: richie gets drunk during the scene at the jade and spills the truth

Richie _wasn't_ drunk, not at all. He knew exactly what it felt like to be drunk having spent most of his college years absolutely wasted which dragged into his early adulthood and comedy career. He was drunk this time last weekend so he knew he definitely wasn't drunk. _Not even close_. He was just enjoying the atmosphere, that's it, he was back in Derry after twenty-seven fucking years with his old best friends and he was _fine_, this was totally fine and there's nothing weird about any of this; nothing weird about seeing the people who meant so much to him, apparently, but how would he know? He barely remembered them, he barely remembered this fucking town, he only remembered he grew up there an hour ago.

If anything, Richie would say he was lightly buzzed, they were only a few beers in at this moment in time as they tried to get everyone up-to-date on what's happened in the three decades they've been apart but Richie couldn't help but feel bad because he didn't really _care_. All he cared about was Eddie, he missed him, he didn't realise how much he had actually missed him, all these years had passed and Richie couldn't believe how _hot_ Eddie looked, well, not hot but like attractive but not in a gay way, in a 'wow bro you that shirt is nice' or whatever only in this case his shirt is his face and Richie wasn't drunk, he really wasn't? He _honestly_ wasn't but if it was true then why did it sound like he was trying so hard to convince himself he wasn't lying? Why was he looking at Eddie like he was a goddamn snack and Richie was a starving man?

The beers kept coming and Richie couldn't stop himself from taunting Eddie, riling him up until he got flustered and yelled. He missed his cute little reactions but not cute because Eddie wasn't cute but he was and now Richie is just confusing himself because _what the fuck is wrong with him_? He stared at his bottle as Bill made some comment about some book that he had written or something and everyone was laughing but he wasn't interested, he knew Bill wrote books so he didn't need to focus on that shit right now, not while he brain was going haywire and his hands were shaking in his lap because what the _fuck_ is going on inside his head? He hasn't seen Eddie in years and suddenly he was feeling things he really shouldn't, things he hadn't felt in so long, things he had successfully repressed and kept them under wraps by; rarely to never dating because he couldn't seem to fall in love, keeping his pathetic love-life to sleazy one night stands with guys he never learnt the names of and having a team to write his jokes that were obsessed with this idea of him having a girlfriend.

He was pretty successful at playing the straight man, he had tonnes of practice and he wasn't the settling down type anyway but maybe he was? Because when he saw Eddie for the first time again it was like a punch to the gut of emotions and how is he supposed to get over _that_ when he wasn't really sure what it was he needed to get over? He didn't really know what he felt besides the fact he was ready to drop to his knees to either propose to Eddie or blow him, whatever that man wanted, Richie wanted to be the one to give it to him. If Eddie asked for the world Richie wanted to be the man to give it too him and okay so maybe he was a _little_ drunk but they all were, it doesn't matter; it wasn't like Richie couldn't keep a lid on his emotions, he's got this, he's fine, he hasn't blurted the fact he's like super gay and has probably always been in love which is why relationships always fell apart after a few weeks while drunk before, why start now? Maybe he hadn't ran his mouth before because he had _forgotten_ most of that but what's a little extra knowledge about the fact he wants to fuck his best friend gonna do? He could _handle_ this.

Richie realised quite quickly after that thought that if there was someone narrating his life this is the point where they would say 'he could not handle it' when Mike got them all shots and he was necking them back without even touching the glass and he turned to Eddie and asked him if he really gotten married, and that's normal because friends ask friends information like that 'oh hey Eddie, how's the Mrs? Doing well?' but Richie just had to tag the 'what? To a woman?' on the end like a fucking weirdo but he felt his stomach twist because he wasn't even asking it to be rude, he wanted to know if he was married, if he was with a woman and were they happy? Or is he getting a divorce? Or does Eddie need a side piece because Richie hasn't ever really thought very highly of himself anyway so he is willing to stoop that low for Eddie and... Richie looked around, the conversation had stopped and everyone was staring at him.

"What?" he asked because now the atmosphere was getting a little awkward, and he couldn't tell if his friends were going to start laughing or if they were going to get up and leave.  
"My side piece, huh?" Eddie asked, taking the lead of whatever the fuck kinda conversation this was, he was blushing and, _god_, Richie just wanted to kiss his face.  
"Side piece?" The way Richie paled was in stark contrast to the way Eddie glowed bright red but when did Eddie learn to read minds? Why didn't Richie develop a sick super power when he left Derry? That's _unfair_.  
"Super power? What the fuck are you on about?"  
"Uh, you're skills?"  
"What skills?"  
"The mind reading ones like Professor X, you become a mutant while you were gone? Gonna join the X-Men?" Richie asked, "Fuck, you'd look so hot in their skin tight suits, can I come watch you guys train?"  
"Whoa, Richie... Uh, man, you're drunk," Eddie said, his blush deepening and Richie wanted nothing more than to see how far it travelled down his chest, "I'm not reading any minds... you're saying it all out loud."  
"I'm _what_?" and now Richie was laughing because he's doing such a _bad_ job at keeping his secret.  
"Wow, gays really are useless." Eddie muttered, dragging his hands down his face and sighing and Richie's heart broke, he didn't think Eddie would be _that_ type of person and the thought of Eddie thinking badly of him because he was gay of all things made his skin crawl.  
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"  
"Hey, Rich, calm down," Ben said, "I bet Eddie didn't mean..."  
"Stay out of this you sex god, you're getting my brain all confused," Richie said, his eyes not leaving Eddie who was squirming now like he didn't mean to say that last thing, "I'm useless but it hasn't gotten anything to do with the fact I'm gay, and oh boy, now that cat is out of the bag, probably the first time I've ever said that out loud in forty years." Richie sat back in his chair, this was becoming such a mess.  
"Richie, I wasn't... I'm not..." Eddie was stumbling over his words and messing with his wedding ring and that felt a bit like salt to the wound.  
"Whatever spaghetti man."  
"Come on Richie, I bet Eddie didn't mean anything by that comment," Beverly said, resting her hand on Richie's arm, "It's okay."  
"Eh, he's right regardless Bev," Richie laughed, "I'm pretty useless, I get wasted and within two hours of seeing him again I go full gay and start telling him the shit I _wanted_ to tell him when we were like thirteen," Richie turned to look at Eddie who had gone quiet again, "Did you know I carved our initials into the kissing bridge during that summer?"  
"That... that was you?" Eddie asked and Richie was confused because why did he sound hopeful, "The R plus E? That one?"  
"Uh... yeah?" Richie asked, "How did you know?"  
"I use to pretend it was for us when I used to bike past it."  
"Wait, _what?_" Richie stared dumbly at Eddie, _"What the fuck, Eds?"_  
"Like I said, gays are useless."  
"I'm getting lost, Eddie, what are you on about?"  
"When I made that comment, it wasn't supposed to be outloud, it wasn't even aimed at you," Richie watched as Eddie eased his wedding ring off his finger and dropped it on the table, his eyes never leaving Richie's, "You're not the only gay at this table."  
"Welcome home? More like welcome homo, am I right?" Richie said, Eddie just laughed and Richie wanted to make it his life goal to hear that sound every day for the rest of his life.  
"Beep beep, Richie."  
"If this was a movie this would be the part where the girl and the boy kiss and tell each other they're in love."  
"If you say it, I'll say it back."  
"What is going on right now?" Bill asked, Richie fumbled for something on the table, his hand coming across a chopstick, and threw it at his friend. He probably missed by a mile but whatever.  
"Don't you dare fucking ruin this moment Bill or I swear to _god_ you won't have time to learn how to finish a book properly." His friends laughed, or maybe they didn't but he didn't give a fuck because Eddie is right in front of him and when did Eddie move to sit on the spare chair that had separated them?  
"Hurry up and fucking say it, then." Eddie prompted.  
"I love you." The smile that breaks out on Eddie's face makes Richie want to throw up because it's so damn beautiful, like what the fuck? Who gave that man _any_ rights to be that fucking gorgeous, Jesus Christ.  
"Shut up," Eddie was laughing again as he grabbed Richie's shirt and he guesses he must have been talkin out loud but nothing else matters when Eddie is this close, their lips are almost touching and this is like every fucking wet dream he had growing up as a kid, "I love you too." and then they were kissing.

Richie was drunk, Richie was fucking wasted and he knew that, they all knew they and that's okay because they were all drunk but Richie was the only one who got to kiss Eddie. Eddie, who's wedding ring was laying somewhere in the mess of napkins and spilt rice, Eddie who literally had to be grabbed by Mike to stop him from climbing into Richie's lap (much to Richie's disappointment) so they didn't end up getting arrested for public indecency, Eddie... the man who Richie was so hopelessly in love with and how can emotions be gone for thirty years and then come back just as strong as if they never left? It made no sense but Richie once again found himself not caring when Eddie was pressed against his side, their chairs pushed as close together as possible and their arms wrapped around each other. Richie pressed a kiss to Eddie's temple because he could do that now.

Yeah, Richie was drunk and it turns out he really can't keep a lid on his emotions, so fucking what? He was also in love and, as Eddie put it so eloquently, a useless gay but for once in his life, as he looked at Eddie's face who was smiling widely and didn't seem to pent up and angry when they first met three hours ago (_three hours? Is that it? It took him three fucking hours to fall in love again?_) Richie didn't even give a shit.


End file.
